Happy 2009

You know how they say, "From the frying pan into the fire..."? That's precisely my feelings about 2009. We've all been through and experienced 2008. Can anything be worse than 2008? From where I'm standing, that is, the beginning of 2009, the answer is a resounding 'No' but I can't help feeling that there's more bad news in store in the coming year. Very pessimistic I know and after all we're just at the beginning of the dark tunnel. I'm sure many of us are straining our necks looking for that light at the end of this dark tunnel. Do you see it? Is it there? How long will we see a glimmer of that light? Yes, I know, there are lots of uncertainties. Therefore, I'm not going to dwell on those uncertainties but on the certains. The sure, the true and the tried. What is that?

New Year Resolutions! That's that surest certainty at this time of the year. I thought I'll not make any this year but there are too many uncertainties and too many unpleasantness in 2008 for me not to make any resolutions this year. It's the comforting thought to being around to make them and being healthy enough to make them that really changed my mind.

So, there you have it. Make those New Year resolutions for that comforting thought of just that, being able to make them. To heck with not being able to keep them. To heck that you might break them because for one thing they are meant to be broken. Some of them are just impossible to keep anyway. Be crazy about it. Make outrageous resolutions just for the heck of it. Why? Well, because you can and also you know you won't keep them. It's just for laughs and we know we need plenty of those. So, here I go and some of them are pretty outrageous and some I really do hope I can keep them this year : )

1. Reread all the writing books I have in my bookshelf.
2. Finish reading all the novels I haven't gotten around to read in my bookshelf.
3. Go to bed by midnight the latest.
4. Tidy my room.
5. Resist the clutter monster.
6. Reread all my Writer's Digest Mags.
7. Write 10 minutes every day.
8. Make use of my writing prompts.
9. Check my drawer.
10. Visit my blogs.
11. Spend more time planning vacations : ) (Outrageous I know)
12. Scour the newspapers for bizarre stories to use in my writing. Always forget to note them down after reading about them : (
13. Go through my bookshelf once a month.
14. Screw my head on tightly and in the correct manner.
15. Finish my project assignments before the end of February 2009. (At last a solid, logical resolution)

Will add more later ....

Until my next appointment ... Ciao and Happy New Year and may all your resolutions be as outrageous as mine if not more.

Six and then You Are Done

How hard can six words be? Heck, I've got six words all laid out in question form that tells everything about six words - how hard can six words be?

Indeed, it isn't hard or is it? If six words is hard what would it take to write a novel, a short story, a novella? Six by six, story by story with six, that's all it takes. Give it a try, give it a shot. Nothing to lose but everything to gain.

I'm Breathing

I'm breathing deep today. Been trying hard to sort out most of the things I have on my plate. There's this thing.... and that thing.... and this and that... They all need to be done and the hard part is trying to juggle which I should do first. The logical thing to do would be to do the most urgent one first and then the second most urgent and so on and so forth.

The tricky part is some of these fourth or fifth item on the list keep jumping up for attention and it's hard to ignore them sometimes. They also tend to push my panic button once in a while for more attention from me. Needless to say they cause me to go into frantic mode and get me so overwhelmed trying to concentrate on the most urgent matter at hand.

So, I'm breathing and deeply at that too. Just hope I don't hyperventilate in the process and cause myself an asthma attack. But I don't have asthma but hyperventilating I could stimulate one. Can I? I'm just afraid I could go into one but not that I've experienced one like that. There's always a first time for everything. Murphy's Law is the first to come to my mind. I'm always wary of Murphy's Law.

Breathe.....

Which is Worse?

Today I'm faced with a dilemma. It is the question of which is worse, the dreaded block or directionless writing.

The first is a lack of words. The second is not short of words but direction. Where am I going with these words? They are coming incessantly, in waves and floods but they are going all over the place with no stops or a destination in mind. Like superman going hyper on caffeine, zipping to Paris and when he gets there he zips back to the starting point because he doesn't know why he went to Paris in the first place. Then, he has this notion he wants to go the Africa and maybe pass by Congo because he heard some shooting there. He saw the situation in Congo and it was bad. He carries on going but he forgets his next destination and why he wants to go to Africa in the first place. Our superman now sounds like he has a bad case of Alzheimer's and zips back to the original starting point. He starts to ponder his trip to Paris and Africa, what he saw when he was flying there. So while he is doing that he thinks that it might be nice to visit China and see if the people there might need help because of the earthquake. He takes off immediately but the people had already got the situation under control. What is he going to do now? Where is he going to fly to now? Superman found himself asking, "What do I want to do now?" The answer he found within the depth of his heart was: "I don't know."

Finally, he decides he'll sleep for a while before thinking about what he wants to do next. Maybe he will have an answer tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find the answer to what I'm going to do with Superman besides having him zip here and there looking for some trouble to solve.

There you have it. Lots of word but going nowhere - directionless. Which is worse?

Well, at least I've gotten rid of the clutter of the Superman story off my mind. Another layer of clutter removed, one more layer less to disseminate. I think I'm nearer to the heart of the real story. We'll see whether I'll find the real story or will have to peel off another layer of clutter.

Someone once said that writing is a process of discoveries. So then, on with the journey of discovery. I will be brave.

The Remedy

When the dreaded block appears and shows its ugly head always remain calm. Notice that traffic jams aren't all that bad until someone starts honking and yelling. One "move it along" will follow another and another progressing in intensity and urgency until something or someone boils over. However, when the traffic police comes along in his slick motorbike and gives direction, things start to move along. The point is to stay cool, don't panic, don't lose your cool even in the midst of the dreaded block. This will be the time for your brain to catch up and sort things out. The silence can sometimes be really frightening but use this time of silence to breathe and sort out the clutter or traffic jams that have accumulated. This would be a good time to go for that walk, run, swim, or whatever you do to relax and unwind.

After this time of destressing and cleaning the clutter, review the story so far. Time to look for the next opening, the next path in your story.

Then, after these process the block is still before you take your pen or pbtc (put butt to chair) and forge on. Head bent down, take pen to paper or punch the keys on the keyboard and keep on doing. If you need to backtrack or change certain parts go ahead and do it. The important thing is to keep on writing and thinking and plan the next course of your story or plot. You can always go back to tidy up or cut if you don't like any part.

Operative word:

1. Relax, don't panic.
2. Forge on. Write and keep writing.
3. Backtrack or find another path in your plot or story.
4. Explore the terrain of your story. Do you spot any area that can be changed or reworked?

Never give up. I heard a writer once said these words and it's so true:

The difference between a new writer and a well seasoned writer is that the seasoned writer keep on working it through the block and the new writer stops and gives up because it's too hard.

That really opened my eyes. Every writer finds it hard in the beginning. Why should it be different with me? They can do it so can I because that is what I want to be. That is what I love.

Forge on, with my head bent against the wind and sun and rain, I will not give up.

The Dreaded Block... er .... Blog?

How ironic can it be if one word means you'll be constipated and nothing comes forth from you and another that means you're there ready and willing to spew forth miles and miles of letters all stringed together however artistically or not into some coherent thoughts. That's precisely what these two words mean to me: Block and Blog.

To have a blog means you're ready and willing to put thoughts to words for whatever audience or readers who are willing to spare 5 or 10 minutes of their precise time and attention to read your blog. However, to have a block means just the opposite - no output of anything at all or anything coherent. What a dilemma if you are a blogger who's having a block at the moment and which can lasts from a day to eternity. That will result in a blocked blog. Do you know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds? In any case, at least the condition or situation has a name to it. Imagine this entry in the blog:

Today's blog is blocked.

or

Today's entry is a blocked blog.

I'm laughing so hard I almost fell out of chair. It's so hilarious I can cry. In fact, I am crying because it's very sad for a blogger to be blocked. A writer or blogger prays it never happens to him/her but it's inevitable that it will come sooner or later like a common cold.

What are we to do when it finally hits us?

Do we go round and round our computer mumbling, "Blocked, blocked. What am I to do? I'm so blocked and I've got to blog."

Next: The remedy.

Passion, Pain and Joy Part 2

I breathed and continued to breathe. I carried on day by day, looking and searching, waiting, hoping. I looked for it but I found a black hole, very dark and empty, where it once dwelt bouncing and waiting for me to bounce with it. Still, I breathed and kept on looking day by day.

Then, one morning I began to see the clouds dispersing. I could breathe somewhat easier. The day seemed to bring a glimmer of hope. I could feel passion somewhere out there. Without warning it went away and without warning it peeked at me out of the dark and muggy blackness of my surrounding.

"Why did you go away? Where did you go? Will you come back and stay to play?"

I was not prepared for the reply when it came.

"You drove me away."

"Me? How? What did I do?"

Fear is a terrible thing. It drove me away when you embraced my enemy. It had you gripped in its gnarled talons so tightly you were choking and knew it not. You cannot have the both of us within you. Embrace and entertain one or the other, we cannot both exist together.

I now understood the flight of passion which caused me pain. I found joy for I now understand why it left and how I can prevent it from leaving again. I feared and drove passion away. In came pain to keep fear company. Wow, what an insight.

My dear friend, let me not forget to embrace you, passion, alone and discard fear from ever having a grip in my life. Stay and let's forge ahead without fear.

With that, passion floated in once again and we danced our dance of joy. Fear and pain were waved away like the annoying housefly that served no purpose at all.

Passion, Pain and Joy

There are things which draws you. That sets your heart racing a million beats a second. Things that pumps adrenaline and blood just by thinking of it. It causes your stomach to curl and churn in a funny way that nothing can effect the same sensation. That's passion. It's also pleasure when you think of it and the effect it has on you. You love it. You live and breathe by it. You cannot do without it.

And then, there will come a day when you feel absolutely none of those things and you think whether you've lost the passion. It can last a long time. It can go on for weeks, months. You start to think that you've really lost it, that passion. But you know you've loved it once. Loved it so much you just couldn't carry on living if you've to live without it and now is the day. It's not you who left this passion, this passion has left you. You woke up one morning and it's not there. Where is it? You keep waiting for it to come back. You drag your feet doing what you once loved that at the mere thought of it you get a high. Now everything is flat, stale, blend and colorless.

What are you going to do? Give up and continue as if nothing happened? PASSION where are YOU?????

What did I do? Check back again for part two.

Bleed

I bleed here.
Words.
word by word
drop by drop.

It's hard
squeezing them out.
word by word
drop by drop

They don't come out easily
like the yanking out of flesh
painful
excruciating pain.

Word by word
Drop by drop
it slowly
seeps.

After much pressing
much heart wrenching
pressing and
one drop

one word
another and
another
till

there is this
lot on the paper
word by word
drop by drop

pull
press
squeeze
one word

Enough!
I have bled
enough
stop!

Contest

Submit to: Fiction Competition sponsored by Lilith. 250 West 57th Street, Suite 2432
New York, NY 10107.
Deadline: 11/01/08; entry fee: none.
First prize: $250 and publication.
Type: Short Story (3,000 words MAX). MUST be about the lives of Jewish women.
URL: http://www.lilith.org/writers.htm

Soldiers

Soldiers in full garb
on their way
some stint or camp
truck and van
ZB
was all it says
ZZZZZZZZZ
I thought was dreaming
snoozing
with Zs
army
obedience without question
Are you willing to follow?
total obedience without question
Are you willing to follow?
Sergeant
Major
Leftenant (Br)
Lieutenant (Am)
party
meet the Generals
meet Major XXX
Could this be the one?
Was this the one I saw?
I saw the uniforms
the garb
And the Zs ...

Bouncing

I saw these words bounced toward me as I walked along the corridor, "Kiss Me". Oh wow, how inviting to a hormone-raging bull but unfortunately, or fortunately, I'd say, I wasn't a hormone-raging bull or else I would be doing what I couldn't help doing. Blaming the hormones wouldn't be much good either because then I'd have done what I absolutely don't want to do.

Anyway, "Kiss Me" passed by without any problems from me but I can't say that for the fellow behind. I think he was drooling and wet his pants as strange sounds came from his direction as soon as "Kiss Me" came into his line of sight.

I sighed and shook my head. Why can't people stop issuing invitations they don't want to issue. But then, maybe they do. Who knows?